Funeral For A Friend

Tonight I gave the eulogy for the man who's been my best friend, and my brother for nearly 30 years. Here is the text:

Hi. I'm EC.  Bart's been my best friend for nearly 30 years so the family asked me to say some words about him, and tell you about Bart, the Thousandth Man.  There's a lot of things I could talk about but the Statute of Limitations hasn't run out on some of them. So please forgive me if I ramble a bit.

I first met Bart one summer night while hanging out at the little playground in the Braeshire apartment complex. It was place where all of the neighborhood teens gathered in the evenings after the little kids went inside. We'd sit around on the swings, and exchange stories of how unfair life is when you're a teenager. We smoked, used bad language and generally agreed that we were the coolest of the cool. That night, a kid named Rick brought Bart down to meet everyone, and we welcomed him cautiously to the group.

At that moment I had no idea what a life altering moment had just happened for me. I had no idea I'd found The Thousandth Man. 

You see, we started high school a week or two after that, and both of us were coming in to Parkway South as new kids. It turned out that neither one of us had gotten a locker partner yet, and we figured that since we both lived in the same neighborhood and rode the same bus, it would just be convenient to share a locker.  It was literally one of those awkward teenage moments where we both had our heads down and mumbled the words, "Wanna share a locker?"

"Yeah, sure." 

A more mis-matched pair of boys has never been seen. Bart was a football jock, I was a theater geek. We were--and still are--polar opposites on almost any topic you can think of. Yet somehow a friendship grew, and Bart and I became almost inseparable.  We shared a locker all through high school, and after high school we shared an an apartment.

In retrospect, perhaps we should have stopped at sharing the locker. I'll get back to that in a a moment. Then again...maybe I'd better not. After all, my job nowadays is to shut down places like that. 

Eventually Bart and I did develop some common interests. We used to spend hours at each others houses, blasting our latest album purchases at volumes that would later found by scientists to cause sterility in mice. He turned me on to Led Zeppelin and Rush, I turned him on to Queen and REO Speedwagon. Somehow over the wall of sound, a bond was forged and I came to know the Thousandth Man.

I remember one day we arrived at school, and it wasn't until we took off our coats at our locker that morning that we each saw the other one wearing a t-shirt from The Who concert the previous night. We were speechless with delight. Neither one of us had known that the other one was there, and we both agreed fully that we had just seen the greatest musical performance in history.

The truly amazing thing is that we still agree about that today.

Of course, there was that other day that we both showed up wearing the same Marshall Tucker Band t-shirt. Knowing we'd be teased unmercifully about dressing alike, an argument ensued over who would have to keep their coat on. I don't recall the resolution, but I do know that neither one of us ever wore that t-shirt to school again.

We went to see many concerts together over the years, and one thing that comforts me is that the last time I saw him we did just that. We went to see The Allman Brother's Band just last month, and it's a memory I'll treasure. It also had a moment that was pure Bart.

Bart had scored us some VIP party passes for the concert. Wearing these badges allowed us into a backstage area with and a free buffet of food and drinks. The only drawback was that we had to leave the area to answer nature's call. After Bart left the 2nd time, just when I was starting to think Bart had been gone too long, a guy popped up next to me.

'Hey, are you EC?'

In my line of work I sometimes get recognized by unsavory characters before I remember them myself, so I cautiously nodded my head as I frantically tried to place where I'd seen this guy before.

'Cool. Bart told me to find you in here.'

OK. Now I can relax ' Oh. I see you got a VIP Pass too.'

The guy says, 'No, this is Bart's. He loaned it to me so I could come in and get some free food and drinks'

Yes, that's the kind of guy Bart is. Always ready to help out a friend. I asked the guy if he knew Bart from work.

"Oh no. I just met him outside. We just started talking and he put this over my head and told me to come back here, get some food, and let you know where he was"

Bart made a friend everywhere he went. There was always something about everyone that interested him, and he went out of his way to get to know people. Without the slightest bit of hesitation he would walk up to a total stranger and begin a conversation.

Although, some might say that using the word 'conversation' would be stretching the definition a bit. Mostly Bart would talk if it was a subject he cared passionately about. Like for instance...oh...Nebraska Husker football.

Bart loved the Huskers.

Now, I'll be honest with you. Even now I don't really give the hind-quarters of a rodent about college football. But Bart had so much energy it was impossible not to catch some of it. While I lived with him, every summer he'd get the new Huskers poster for the year. You know, the one's that list all of the games with a box for the scores? As soon as he got it, it would go up over the TV set in the living room, but he'd cover it up with something else so that you couldn't see it--though he pulled it aside to show EVERYone who came by the new poster underneath.

Still, there was the grand unveiling on the day of the first Husker football game. He was just so pumped up it was impossible not to get a little pumped up myself. He'd be yelling and cheering, or cursing and screaming--kind of depended on what was happening--and he sucked me and everyone else in the room in with him.

Bart could be very intense. When something captured his attention, he gave it his full attention, often to the exclusion of all else. When we were younger, whenever he got a new album he loved he would play it incessantly, sometimes just playing one song over and over and over, again at volumes that violalate airport noise standards.

He definitely loved music, and he wanted everyone to share that same love. It spoke to him on levels that even he didn't fully comprehend.

He also loved his family. You could always hear the pride in his voice whenever he talked about his sons. He loved those boys with all his heart.

He loved his wife. Like all married couples they had their ups and downs, but he always loved her with all of his heart.
His heart was his most endearing quality. With Bart, you always knew where you stood. His generosity knew no bounds. Whatever he had to give he would give without question.

And he lived!

He lived life with gusto, enthusiastic about everything that captured his attention. He had a smile that would literally light up a room. Life around Bart was many things, but dull was never one of them.

I've referred to Bart several times as the "Thousandth Man" and you may be wondering just what that means. It's from a poem by Rudyard Kipling. Let me warn you in advance that you may have to google it later, as I'm not sure I can get through it, but here goes:

The Thousandth Man (by Rudyard Kipling)

One man in a thousand,Solomon says,
Will stick more close than a brother.
And it's worth while seeking him half your days
If you find him before the other.

Nine nundred and ninety-nine depend
On what the world sees in you,
But the Thousandth man will stand your friend
With the whole round world agin you.

'Tis neither promise nor prayer nor show
Will settle the finding for 'ee.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em go
By your looks, or your acts, or your glory.

But if he finds you and you find him.
The rest of the world don't matter;
For the Thousandth Man will sink or swim
With you in any water.

You can use his purse with no more talk
Than he uses yours for his spendings,
And laugh and meet in your daily walk
As though there had been no lendings.

Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em call
For silver and gold in their dealings;
But the Thousandth Man he's worth 'em all,
Because you can show him your feelings.

His wrong's your wrong, and his right's your right,
In season or out of season.
Stand up and back it in all men's sight --
With that for your only reason!

Nine hundred and ninety-nine can't bide
The shame or mocking or laughter,
But the Thousandth Man will stand by your side
To the gallows-foot -- and after!

I love you Bart, and I will miss you.

Later, man.

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